Your Mind Fully Present: Living in Awareness and Balance
As we move into fall, with the autumn equinox just behind us, I've been thinking a lot about balance.
At the equinox, day and night are nearly equal. Light and darkness exist in balance. Maybe there is something we can learn from that.
What does it really mean to live in balance?
And maybe more importantly, how do we actually do it?
Who doesn't want more peace, joy, love, gratitude, calm, and ease in their days? But living in balance doesn't mean we will feel peaceful, positive, or calm all the time.
To live in balance, we need to be aware of all of it.
Joy and sadness.
Confidence and fear.
Calm and anger.
Gratitude and disappointment.
Light and dark.
Balance isn't about trying to live only in one and avoid the other. It's about learning how to be with all parts of ourselves.
What Our Feelings Can Tell Us
Fear can tell us something.
Anger can tell us something.
Sadness and grief can tell us something.
And joy, love, gratitude, and peace can tell us something too.
We don't necessarily have to label one feeling as good and another as bad. Sometimes the feelings we would rather not experience may be the very ones asking us to pay attention. Challenging feelings can also be great teachers. We can find lessons in all of our feelings.
Fear may alert us to something that doesn't feel safe. Anger may help us recognize that something doesn't feel right or that a boundary may have been crossed. Sadness and grief may remind us of a loss or ending, or of something or someone that matters deeply to us. Joy and gratitude can help us recognize what brings us happiness, what we love, and what makes us feel loved.
And sometimes a feeling is simply a feeling. We don't always have to analyze it, fix it, release it, or figure out exactly why it's there. Sometimes we can simply notice it.
Awareness Helps Us Find Balance
This is where awareness comes in. We can't begin to understand what we're feeling if we aren't aware of what is happening within us and around us.
What am I feeling?
What am I thinking?
What is happening in my body?
What is happening around me?
And perhaps even:
Is this a me thing or them thing?
Sometimes what we are feeling or reacting to is ours to explore. And sometimes we may realize that someone else's reaction has very little to do with us. It may be coming from something they are experiencing or carrying.
This isn't necessarily mine.
Awareness gives us a little room. Room to pause. Room to observe. Room to listen. And room to decide what, if anything, we want to do with what we've noticed.
Making Room for All Parts of Ourselves
Balance isn't always about getting rid of what feels uncomfortable. Maybe sometimes it's about learning to make peace with the fact that all of these feelings and experiences are part of being human and part of our story. They are part of what makes us who we are.
We can honor where we are in the moment.
We can welcome joy without expecting it to last forever.
We can experience sadness without believing we will always feel sad.
We can notice fear without allowing fear to make every decision for us.
We can feel anger without allowing anger to determine how we respond.
We don't have to pretend the more difficult parts aren't there. And we don't have to let them control us.
We can become aware of them. We can listen to what they may be telling us. And we can learn to live with a little more understanding and compassion for ourselves and for others. Balance isn't about living only in the light or staying in the dark. It's about finding our way back to center.
A Time to Harvest
And as we move from the fall equinox toward this Full Harvest Moon, I've also been thinking about another kind of balance: knowing what to continue nurturing, what to celebrate, and what we may be ready to let go of.
I often talk about planting seeds for what we want to create, especially around a new moon or the beginning of a new season.This is a good time to think back to the spring equinox, about six months ago. What were you hoping to create? What intentions were you setting? What seeds were you planting, literally or figuratively? Now, as we enter a new season, take a moment to look at what has grown.
What is working?
What has grown or changed?
What are you ready to celebrate?
What feels complete?
What do you want to honor?
What is still growing and may need more time or attention?
And what are you ready to let go of as you move into this next phase?
Not every seed we plant grows exactly as we imagined it would. Some things flourish. Some take longer. Some grow in a direction we didn't expect. And some may no longer be what we want at all.
It could be thought patterns or habits that no longer serve what we are wanting to create.
Maybe that's part of living in balance too. Knowing what to hold onto. What to continue nurturing. What to celebrate. What to honor. And what we are ready to put down.
A Simple Fall Pause
Sometime over the next few days, give yourself a few quiet minutes. Maybe sit outside. Take a walk. Find a quiet place in your home. Or step outside and look up at the moon.
Take a few slow, equal breaths. Try breathing in for a count of 5 and out for a count of 5. Let the steady rhythm help you settle before turning your attention inward. This type of steady, even breathing is sometimes called coherent breathing and can help create a sense of calm and balance.
Notice how you're feeling.
Notice what you're thinking.
Notice what is happening in your body and around you.
And then ask yourself:
Where am I right now?
Not where did I think I would be.
Not where do I think I should be.
Where am I now?
What is growing?
What am I grateful for?
What needs a little more attention?
And what am I ready to leave behind as I move into this next season?
You don't have to have all the answers.
For now, simply notice.
Maybe living in balance isn't about having everything figured out or feeling peaceful, positive, and calm all the time. Maybe it's about learning how to be with all parts of ourselves while becoming more aware of what we want to carry forward and what we are ready to let go of.
Pause. Breathe. Notice.
For an extra practice, a simple body scan can give us a few minutes to come back to ourselves, become more aware of what we're feeling, and notice what our bodies may be telling us.
You can practice almost anywhere. Want to be guided through a body scan? Try this Body Scan Meditation I created for kids. It is great for adults too!
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